Last night I was looking for an old short story I had written in a stack of journals and I came across a little gratitude list from 2017. I had been sober for a few months and sounded very confident that I was done with drinking forever. Little did I know when I had written this list that I would relapse a few times out of loneliness or naively believing that the reasons I drank were gone, having magically resolved themselves. All fine and good. I learned a lot from those relapses and they got me where I am. Progress doesn’t follow a strait path and sometimes you have to double back because you think you dropped something. Another thing on this gratitude list was Sarah Hepola’s memoir, Blackout: Remembering the things I drank to forget. When I saw it on the list I ran my thumb over the ink. That book meant a lot to me. So much of it was a little too familiar. Sarah and I are both from Dallas and I felt at home in her words about her upbringing. I felt similarly at home in the heart break that came when the story turned to piecing her memories together and apologizing for her “evil twin” aka her drunk self. Even that, I referred to my drunk self as my “bad sister”, a reference to a Snowpony song from the late 90’s. I read Blackout twice, cried a lot and passed on the copy to a friend. They had a similar experience with the book and told me they passed it on to someone else who needed to read it. I love that. Like passing notes in class that just say “you’re not alone”. Seeing this title appear on an old gratitude list got me thinking about all the women who inspired or somehow supported me in my recovery and I want to start recognizing them here. A sober approach to #wcw. There are so many wonderful woman that come to mind immediately and I will be showcasing them each Wednesday until I have acknowledged them all. Today, I am stoked to be kicking it off with Sarah. Girl, wherever you are, your story helped me change my life. As for everyone else, if you haven’t read Blackout but want to, I have a copy that I bought with the intention of passing on to the next person who needs it. I will gladly mail it to anyone who wants it. Just leave a comment below or email me your address.

Day 207: Spinach and kale salad with avocado, vegan kimchi, a six minute egg and bloobs, lemon, hemp seeds and Udo’s 3*6*9 oil. Getting my greens in first thing in the morning makes me feel… brighter, more energetic. Their fiber helps to prevent toxins from building up in my body. Anyone that wants to help clean up around here is good in my book. Now, if only they did dishes..