Recently a guy called me a spinster. Part of me is ashamed to say that it has stuck with me. I had never been called that before (not to may face anyway) and it stung. It is word that, to me, sounds like someone who would be fun. It has action. It rhymes with winner. It is fun to say… but we all know that it is widely understood to have an actively negative definition. There is a parade of bleak connotations that follow it. From fussy to bitter. Then there is old, lonely, damaged and ultimately undesirable. It is a term of ridicule. He swore up and down that he did not mean it that way. He even seemed surprise that I might question his intent. Yet he could not explain exactly what it was he did mean by it. Just a friendly observation? So yeah, I have been thinking about it. Mulling it over as I spin through life. By the standard definition he is correct. I am an unmarried woman, beyond the typical age of marriage. And maybe if I were still drinking my nights away that sad little parade of negative descriptors would be correct too. Not that they would have anything to do with my marital status but more so the state of my mind and liver... As it stands though, I am none of those things. Well, maybe old. As someone who grew up in the thick of third wave feminism I have this desire to reclaim Spinster. Make it a positive thing. Something to high five about. Pull power from it, like so many did with Slut in the 90’s.. but in the end that was just spitting into the wind as it led to women authoring their own sexual objectification. It really came back to haunt us. However, if I were to reclaim it or even go as far to petition Webster’s to redefine this word for our modern world it would go a little something like..

Spinster [ spin-ster ]
A woman who prioritizes the development of her mind, career, recreational interests over marital status.

What do you think? Does that feel as good for y’all as it does to me? Should we make T-shirts’?

Day 215: Green detox soup. Kale, zucchini, broccoli, parsley, cilantro, onion, garlic, Udo’s 3*6*9 oil, yogurt, seeds and lemon. Side of green apple.