In pondering the moves of masculinity I went looking for a new role model. Mine have always been women. As I was shuffling the through the Rolodex of possible candidates in my mind I realized that it’s kind of easy to be confused about masculine energy. What we see of it on the big stage is so basic and often toxic. Hence my off the cuff idea to simply start acting like an aggressive animal to balance my yin and yang, Culturally, I feel, we recognize and appreciate femininity through nuance and masculinity often shows up blunt as an alternative. I realized that I need to disrobe these contrasting energies of their skirts and mustaches to make them more digestible.. adaptable.. understood. As a person who gets off on extremes (and often suffers the consequences of such a kink) it doesn’t surprise me that I would jump to a macho, if cartoonish conclusion of the yang to my yin. Ugh, the ego involved in that thought process too.. like to suggest that anything that could balance me out would have to be negative because what? I’m so perfect? Hilarious. This is what’s running through my mind today as I eat this pretty rad plate of completely local goods. In conclusion, I dropped the search for a male role model. I did however see “courage” listed as a masculine quality somewhere on the World Wide Web. I resented the implication at first because clearly women are brave AF all the time.. but, fuck it, whose got time for more resentment? I’m going to try to and put my bravest foot forward. Be more open. Be more active. Be more willing to take a risk for the highest good.. even when it scares me.
Day 116: Hash party. Potatoes, kale, carrots & zucchini with thyme, feta, seeds and a poached egg. Oranges, strawberries and foraged blackberries to quell my sweet tooth.