Man, back when I was drinking, spontaneity was the name of the game. There was no plan beyond - let’s see where the night goes. I referred to it as being “in the wind”. Looking back it was just pure chaos. I was a bit more feral than free. A lot of me liked not knowing what would happen. Know one could say I was risk-averse. I felt anything else would be a boring way to live. These days, in sobriety, stability is what’s turning my crank. It holds more value now than the novelty my partying brought me. Living much more cautiously, consciously has become very rewarding. I try to be the still little center my universe has always needed. Today my little routine and the stability I have found in the day to day are getting rocked a little bit. I am about to hit the road for an out of the blue work trip. This happens from time to time. I get an offer with little notice and decide to just say yes. I am grateful for the opportunity to get out of town. I am looking forward to a long drive. It always clears my mind. The cash will be nice too. Part of me though, doesn’t want to leave my stable little nest and all the safe comfort it offers me. I took a quick spin on my bike at sunrise to wake up a bit and wave goodbye to the neighborhood. Now I am packed and fed and it’s time to roll out. Into the wind we go!

Day 196: Rice cake with avocado, pesto and yogurt (all mashed together), hard boiled egg, basil and sunflower seeds. Watermelon on the side.