I got up before sunrise, threw on some sweat pants and went to get in line at the DMV. With things as they are they urge you to make an appointment but the system kept crashing and I decided to go rogue and take my chances. It all panned out and only took several hours of my life here on earth. Not the worst. Definitely better than being hassled by cops over a sticker. The thing that sucked was that nearly everyone I interacted with had no chill, what so ever. It was challenging to roll out of bed and into a pack of very vocal and largely pissed off people. Those who had appointments were steamed that others did not. At some point a security guard came within a foot of me and began yelling that I was not 6 feet from the person in front of me. The irony. A different security guard yelled at me about having my insurance card on my phone and not printed out on paper. A lot of micro aggression going on at the DMV, or more than usual I should say. The very worst parts of me wanted to join in and yell back. To point out that I did not want to be there AT ALL! Appointment or not. That honestly 6 feet still felt too close and that if I had it my way that security guard would be 600 miles away from me, ya know, for safety. These thoughts made me regret not having breakfast before I left the house… but I managed to keep my cool. I did my best to keep my eyebrows from climbing up my forehead and into my hairline. I kept breathing. I kept reminding myself that kindness costs nothing. I kept trying to put myself in their shoes. I kept thinking of how grateful I am to have the money to pay (what I feel to be) an arbitrary fee. Grateful to have the time to stand and wait and watch the sun come up.. and to be doing so without an epic hangover and taking it all so very personally... hungover Bonnie took everything personally, on a professional level. Finally, with my sticker in hand I climbed back in my car, turned up some Shannon and the Clams and sang along.. feeling grateful that I had kept my mouth shut at the DMV and ultimately did not take part in making anyone’s day worse. Be kind, people. Sometimes when you don’t want to be. Don’t take things personally. Sing in the car. It is a way better use of your energy and your vocal chords.
Day 195: Kimchi, avocado, cilantro, mango, sunflower and pumpkin seeds.
I keep saying it… Kimchi is like Prozac.. it eases anxiety and curbs depression. I learned this years ago when I was thinking of going on meds. I googled “popular antidepressants” (that pairing of words gave me the first laugh I’d had in a long time) and found that fermented foods are a natural way of keeping our brain chemistry on the up and up. If I have not yet convinced you to add kimchi to your diet, well, buckle up or unsubscribe because I’m not going to shut up about it.