Since quarantine it has been hard for me to actually get up, go to work and stay there. The whole thing, clothes, traffic, showing up at a certain time, being in a space that is open to the public.. Tell me I am not alone in this. After about 4 hours I am zapped. My eyes are tired. My brain tells me to “go outside. Look at the sky.” Which I do and it helps but sometimes once I get outside the next thought is “look, your car is right there... you could just go home.” It isn’t that I don’t enjoy the work or the people I work with. I do. I even find it meaningful. I think I am just still adjusting. Sometimes though.. it makes me crave junk food. Like all of it. Mixed together.. I’ll be driving home day dreaming about pizza burgers.. fried chicken lo mein.. potato chip ice cream.. In a pile. It is as though my brain has been hijacked. Does this happen to you? Do you give in? I ask myself questions to name what it is that has me reaching for things that will ultimately make me feel worse. Nine times out of ten I am simply stressed and tired and do not want to cook anything (or have to do the dishes after). I just want comfort. Treats. I have to be my own mom and say it out loud “we have food at home.” It works. Thanks Mom. Knowing some healthy alternatives that scratch the same itch helps a lot too. Maybe I will start occasionally posting some dinners here.. would y’all like that? Is anyone sick of breakfast yet?
Day 237: Rice cake, probiotic cream cheese, smoked salmon, spinach, arugula and everything bagel seasoning + bloobs.