I woke up today and felt called to focus my mediation and yoga practice on balance. Maybe it is due to the fact that we are fully into Libra season right now. This sign fascinates me. It’s element is air and the over all energy is balance. Two things that feel contradictory to me. The terms “swept off my feet” & “blown away” come to mind. As I was teetering on my mat this morning, attempting to reach some new depth in natarajasana (dancer pose), I was thinking about this juxtaposition. Considering what all it takes to not only find but maintain balance. Literally and figuratively. You gotta be self aware. Focused. Patient. Persistent. Willing to fall/fail and play with the parameters of your body or the situation. Not to mention that you will most likely have to remind yourself to keep breathing a from time to time. If I wanted to sum it up politely I guess I would say that balance is a, um… very engaging pursuit. But what I really want to say is - balance is challenging AF. Be it in a yoga practice or life at large.
Taking issues that I have struggled with in my life to my yoga mat (such as balance, softness, presence, endurance, strength, vulnerability, etc.) has been a key part of my recovery. It has given me regular opportunities to accept and feel these things in my body. To recalibrate my nervous system and my perception in a safe space. As a person who has been prone anxiety caused by thinking their feelings, at times this has been pretty damn uncomfortable (which was something else I desperately needed to learn how to let myself feel).
My final take away from today’s time on the mat was “You will go where your eyes go.” This reminder came to me as I lost my balance, tipped forward and nearly ate shit when I got distracted by a blue jay on the patio who was dicking around with one of my plants. Once again - turns out not everything is worth my attention.
xo - B
10.7.21 Chia experiment… I made a chia seed pudding - but it turned out more like jello & less like pudding due to the fact that I used coconut water instead of oat milk. It’s not as creamy this way but it does kinda taste like an island vacation & it is loaded with electrolytes. Win win. Topped off with bananas, strawberries, sunflower seeds & hemp hearts.