Yesterday I woke up and decided to pull the trigger on a home project I’ve been thinking about for months. An effort to de-clutter with a large shelving unit. I am sentimental and have a lot of knick-knakery, souvenirs and forget-me-nots. I am not hoarding but no one could call me a minimalist. I am proud to say that I have gotten rid of a lot of things over the years. The things I can not imagine saying goodbye to I want on display. So I made a mega smoothie and suckered my favorite neighbor into taking me to ikea so we could load everything into his truck. My fiat is good for a coffee run but not much else. Arriving back at home with all the things to make my organizational dreams come true, I felt excited, optimistic even. Over the following 18 hours I managed to have every other feeling under the sun. Confused, accomplished, angry, delusional, afraid (of being crushed by Scandinavian furniture), blissed out, amused, curious, defeated, determined, stressed, cheated, content, offended and ultimately relieved. I also laughed a lot.. The irony of choosing to embark on IKEA furniture assembly, alone on the heels of World Mental Health Day. It was as if I wanted to test the limits of my own sanity. Funny how the combination of following simple instructions and gravity can result in a lot of self reflection and humility. It gave me opportunity to name my feelings as they rolled through, as someone who grew up in a house where everyone is “fine” I find this to be helpful. I was also given the opportunity to practice something I preach which is to ask for help. It has literally never killed me to do so yet I still resist.. sigh. So here it is, nearly 24 hours later. The shelves are standing and I am feeling very capable and amazazing. Now.. let the organization begin!
Day 258 (Sunday): rad smoothie with banana, blueberries, pomegranate, spinach, kale, chard, cashews, walnuts, pecans, flax, wheatgrass, ashwagandha, tulsi, chaga and coconut water.
Day 259: Potato, egg, cheese and extra cilantro taco from the joint next door. I woke up needing to finish the assembly. It was that or leave and never return. So I exercised my ability to ask for help and got a damn taco. Huzzah!
