During my morning meditation I had many more intrusive thoughts than usual. I was on the verge of yelling “quiet down now!” But I have never been the kind of person who shuts up on demand so.. I sat there just letting my mind run it’s mouth. It reminded me of the anxiety I used to feel when I was hungover. Yuck. Thought after thought in a wheel.. I was trying to give myself a break. Things have been stressful lately. Everything is so up in the air right now. Literally and figuratively. Day by day I feel like I have less control. Within the hour, as I was cleaning out a drawer and I came across a note I had scribbled who knows when, it read..
“The quality of your life is directly related to the amount of uncertainty you can comfortably live with..”
WTF.. I would be lying if I said it didn’t creep me out a little. It was too on the nose. I mean, I looked over my shoulder. It felt like I was being existentially punked. I decided to steer clear of the other drawers as I was uncertain as to what other poignant truths lurked inside of them. Just as I felt my spirit sink from reading this timely message the little voice in my head said “wait a minute.. I LOVE UNCERTAINTY!” I would even go as far as to say I get off on it. Historically I have been bored nearly to death by the predictable. In fact “predictable” was once one of my favorite insults to sling around. So one of two things is happening here. Either the level of uncertainty has reached critical mass OR I have some how forgotten who The Fuhk I AM. I’m going with the latter. I can manage a perspective shift but have little control at the moment over all this external mayhem.
I am curious though.. What perspective shift would benefit you right now?
Day 175: Coconut milk yogurt with watermelon tossed in lime, mint, basil and serranos + strawberries, bloobs, crunchy quinoa, chia and nasturtium flowers.