Choice

Some mornings I wake up & really miss the routine I had while keeping up with my little 365 days of breakfast project. It was 2020 & I was leaning into my first year of sobriety, feeling a little less raw each day - despite the pandemic & the seemingly new found level of uncertainty it presented us all with. In July I celebrated 3 years of sobriety. The uncertainty persists but somehow that feels ok, manageable. A round of applause for better daily practices, coping mechanisms & the absence of anxiety inducing booze. Anyhow, I was thinking this morning. Thinking about over thinking. Thinking about thinking vs. feeling. Thinking about what I can & can not control. As I worked through my yoga routine all the thoughts reduced down into the sweet little reminder that I often need. So I wanted to pop in to share it here…

I control what I think about.

It’s simple & maybe annoyingly obvious but I do not believe I am alone in regularly forgetting that there is a choice. Part of me wants to say is that all it takes is a little awareness but let’s be real - some days it takes a heroic dose of awareness.

Anyway - happy weekend. I hope it’s peaceful & fun. I hope you choose to think beautiful, creative, connective, constructive thoughts. May your moments of awareness outnumber the times when you forget the choice is yours.

B

For old times sake - breakfast today was coconut yogurt with maple chia pudding, strawberries, raspberries, bloobs, pecans, pumpkin seeds & cocao nibs. Protein, fiber, fat, flavor, color, fuel.

Do you hate it?

Day 315: Sautéed sweet potatoes, kale, purple cabbage, scallions & apples with a little Parmesan + a soft boiled egg.

I have a friend who was asking me how I could stand to cook every single day. She said that she just hates cooking - can not get into it. It is meditative for me. A science experiment at times but always grounding. I feel her though. I have not always loved being in the kitchen and even now - sometimes it’s the last place I want to be. When cooking was new to me it stressed me out. When I was depressed making a meal for myself felt like a waste of time. Then to make matters worse it resulted in dishes that needed to be done.. and I really dislike doing dishes. Life is funny though. When we do the thing we don’t want to / like to do and experience the benefits of doing it.. the original issue often fades away. Cooking more often makes you a better cook so you become less stressed about doing it. Feeding yourself a healthy meal (and getting off the floor to do so) helps relieve your depression - through action AND nourishment. Doing the dishes afterward, as mundane as that might seem, can make you feel like bad ass. Unless.. you are thinking “I hate this” through out the entire endeavor. If you find yourself hating things - that’s an opportunity to get to get curious. Maybe you don’t hate doing dishes.. maybe your back just hurts because you stood all day in the wrong shoes. Maybe you don’t hate working out.. maybe it’s just uncomfortable or someone told you that you aren’t athletic.. anybody else’s shamed by a gym teacher in grade school? Maybe you aren’t bad at math, maybe someone just never explained it to you in a way that you could connect with. And yeah, maybe you don’t hate cooking - maybe you’ve tried complicated recipes and failed or perhaps you have a shitty knife (that’ll do it) or you don’t ask for help. Clearly I would be endlessly stoked for more people to find the value and joy that can come from cooking but mostly I just want us all to remain open and curious about the things we tell ourselves,

What was the last thing you said you hated? Tell me in the comments below and then get curious about it.