A lovely reminder..

I am not generally a rule person but I believe that one should always leave a note. It was something my parents did and it stuck with me. As I was working out this morning I came to see my tattoos as littles notes I have left for myself over the years. There are a few that really mean a lot me. Both lovely little reminders of who/ where I have been in this life. One of them I got in sobriety.. the other is from the beginning of my heaviest drinking. They usually live tucked away under my clothes but I thought I’d share them since their messages help me every day and well.. who doesn’t love a good tattoo? About 9 years ago my friend Larissa and I went down to get a “bro tat” (that thing where you and your bro have matching tattoos). The tattoo shop was conveniently stacked on top of our favorite bar. We got poked and then went downstairs to drink all the tequila. While I am done with tequila this tattoo lives forever on my chest - above my heart. A litter German autobahn sign that basically means ‘Drive what you got as fast as you can, just keep it on the road’ or as I like to say ‘shiny side up, rubber side down’. My life was chaotic and reckless at the time but I wasn’t miserable or questioning my drinking yet. I was only getting started. There are no regrets about getting this tattoo. I am still in love with it, it’s message and the woman I share it with. It serves as a daily reminder as to how far I’ve come and encourages me to keep going. Shiny side - rubber side down. The other is much larger and personal, so it’s placed on my ribs. The most tender place I could think of. It speaks to transformation, the beauty within it and protection. The ouroboros eating it’s own tail, the journey back to yourself.. Death, birth and resurrection. The thorny rose in full bloom reminds me that nothing is simply one thing. It is delicate and savage. Fragile and able to defend it’s self. The rose has good boundaries. No regrets with this one either - despite the fact that it hurt like hell. Ten out of ten - would do again.

Do you have any tattoos related to your sobriety?  Tell me everything!

What is new & good?

In the past few weeks I have had quite a few friends reach out to me about wanting to change their relationship with alcohol or quit all together. I feel honored that they felt comfortable talking with me about it and pretty excited that so many are looking to make a change. That’s what is feeling new and good around here today. So I thought I would share a little piece of advice for anyone who has recently started down the path of sobriety. Take it slow. When we are newly sober life can feel even more overwhelming. We are a bit raw. Things feel uncertain and our confidence comes and goes. It makes sense that it would. I know that when I was drinking I mostly learned that I could not trust myself on so many levels. I was truly unreliable. I called it spontaneity but that was just a fun way to describe what was ultimately my epic self abandonment. Each time I called it quits I did not fully believe I would/could stick to it and actually get sober. I had betrayed myself too many times before. I talked a good game while waiting for myself to fall back. In an effort to combat this self doubt I would pick up loads of new healthy habits. Looking back I realize it was partly to keep me busy but a big part of me was thinking that this fierce influx of new shiny behaviors would make the transformation happen faster and maybe even absolve me from my past. I went from drinking away to literally running from my problems. Of course it was too much too fast every time and when I fell off my exercise routine or ate like crap or skipped my meditation practice I would deflate. With my confidence on the floor I would find myself at the bar again. I had not yet embraced “progress not perfection”. I was still in ALL or NONE territory. I did not realize that I didn’t need to be absolved. I needed patience. I needed to rebuild trust in myself and let new habits settle in. That takes time and luckily sobriety affords us a lot more of that. So if you are newly sober (or hey, maybe you just need a reminder) take it slow. Pick up those new healthy habits but don’t overwhelm yourself. Focus on one thing at a time, one day at a time and as life becomes more comfortable, build on it. Lasting change does not happen over night. I mean, imagine if you broke up with someone on Monday and they called you Friday telling you they changed and things would be different.. no one is buying that. Don’t be that ex for yourself. It’s not a race. You are on your own trip. Be patient. Try to enjoy the process (and the opportunity) of winning yourself - and your trust - back.

Day 294: Veggie Toast with Greek yogurt, avocado, smoked salon and everything bagel seasoning. Aces. Lots of Omega 3’s happening here. I do everything I can to get my omega 3’s in a wide variety and not rely on supplements. It’s pretty easy, totally delicious and come with so many benefits. They fight anxiety, depression and reduce mood swings. Omega 3’s also improve symptoms of ADHD, raise your good cholesterol (HDL), reduce inflammation (the root of all dis-ease and famous compadre of over imbibing). Not sold yet? Omega 3’s are great for your skin AND they can even alleviate menstrual pain. For real. In fact one study showed omega 3 supplements to be more effective than ibuprofen in treating severe cramps. I can personally say that since I started mindfully incorporating more of it into my diet my period pains have been much less lethal. Pretty thrilling stuff. Where to find it?

FISH - Salmon, Sardines, Mackerel, Sea bass, Oysters, Mussels, Anchovies (the bacon of the sea..).
SEA VEG - Nori, Chlorella, Spirulina
SEEDS - Pumpkin, Chai, Hemp, Flax
BEANS - Kidney beans, Navy beans, Northern beans
LEAFY GREENS & BRUSSELS SPROUTS
AVOCADO
EGGS
BLUEBERRIES