If you are feeling down..

Here we are - a week into Dry January! I hope you’re all hanging in and feeling ok. I know the news has a lot of people feeling stressed and depressed. Looks like America couldn’t even make it a full week into the new year without another fit of divisive disintegration. We have so much healing that needs to be done. It starts with ourselves. Always. On that note, If you find yourself lacking energy, feeling weak, anxious, depressed, unable to focus or at the mercy of one chaotic mood swing after another - you might have a B vitamin deficiency. Which would make sense if your are newly in recovery. B vitamins are water soluble so, drinking means that once we “break the seal” they all quite literally go down the toilet. Not ideal. Our body does not produce B vitamins so we have to get it from the food we eat or supplements. These MVP’s keep the body energized by converting our food into energy and creating red blood cells which are responsible for carrying oxygen to your muscles. They also ensure that your immune and nervous system are working properly. In fact it is vital in the production of neurotransmitters, especially dopamine, serotonin and GABA. All essential for feeling calm, sleeping well, experiencing pleasure, being happy, ya know - our general well-being.

There are plenty of delicious things you can eat to get all your necessary B vitamins. Leafy greens, eggs, yogurt, salmon, avocado, legumes, bananas, plantains, tofu, pork and chicken breast.. to name a few.

Day 363: Last night I did not sleep so well. My dreams were less than great and I blame it on consuming too much news. I woke up this morning and I just wanted something beautiful. I wasn’t very hungry but if I have learned anything over the past year it is that skipping breakfast means things will get a little dark and bitchy by 2pm. So.. something simple, nourishing and beautiful to balance out all the chaos and negativity from yesterday. Bavarian yogurt, pumpkin seeds, a few raisins, almonds, some toasted pine nuts leftover from last nights dinner, half an apple and a turmeric, honey syrup I whipped up with a little fermented pineapple shrub that I made a while back. So damn good. I could have used a splash of any kombucha but that’s not what was around. Point is - work with what you got. Get creative.

The stars align..

As Jupiter and Saturn were going conjunct in the sky I made some new friends. All my socializing has pretty much been one on one this year, I had nearly forgotten what it feels like to gather - and with people who aren’t my coworkers or neighbors no less. I quite liked it. My friend Jen created a gorgeous makeshift living room in her front yard. Complete with ample distanced seating, fire pit, an alcohol free bar and a record player. It was such a treat. I got to build a fire and that was so very satisfying. Everyone brought something to burn. A few people had written things down on scraps of paper that they wanted to let go of while others brought belongings that had negative memories attached to them and we threw them in to banish them forever and keep the fire going through out the evening. We drank tea, shared some Seedlip and had a few laughs too. It was so good to see everyone - even though I had never seen most of them before. When I started this 365 days of breakfast project I had no idea what was coming or that I would become as isolated as I have. I saw myself inviting large groups of friends over for brunch on the weekends or trying out every Eggs Benedict in Austin. Not in the cards. However, due to these options being off the table the way I eat has changed for the better. I can’t wait to see the depths of how it has changed the way I want to connect with others.

Day 328: a Solstice Sautee - sweet potato, celeriac, garlic, red cabbage, kale and mushrooms with a perfectly fried egg and some pumpkin seeds.

Another trip around the sun.

Yesterday was my 39th birthday and I got everything I wanted! I turned off my phone, took the day off from work, it rained, I felt loved and I got to spend the majority of the day wandering around the Blanton Art Museum. No party. No people. No party people. It was all very 2020. The show I saw was Expanding Abstraction - an exploration of how painting has evolved over time. The only way I could have enjoyed it more is if they had allowed me to bring my tea inside. A lot of really large wonderful pieces were in the show but the one I enjoyed the most really surprised me. I circled back around to it 3 or 4 times. I want to say it was nothing special but the scale and motion of it evoked this sense of surrender in me that I really enjoyed. I visited it a few times before I read the placard and found some synchronicity there. The title alone made me laugh, Tempesta. It is the Italian word for storm. I stood there thinking how in my life I have always seem to be drawn to the storm - being able to surrender to it is a new feeling. It also made me think of Temperance the movement, the definition of the word itself (to abstain from alcohol) and the tarot card. Which Temperance is the card that represents Sagittarius, my zodiac sign. All these little synchronicities made me feel like I was right where I was supposed to be. Funny enough the artist, Beverly Pepper, got disenchanted with this painting and took a few years to finish it. Apparently after a trip to Ankor Wat in Cambodia she felt that “it is utterly ridiculous to try to make waves with painting.” that it reaches too small an audience and may only wake a small group of people… and so she moved on to sculpture instead. I have done this. I have known that feeling before with the things I have put my energy into. Maybe not getting the response or finding the reach I had hoped for. The numbers may not matter though. It could be more about the the depth in which you effect even one person. It could change them, make them feel seen or beautifully insignificant. Or perhaps it could set them on a different course, solidify the one they are on or maybe just be the highlight of someone’s birthday. Either way, I’m glad she chose to finish Tempesta and I got to cross paths with it.

When I got home it started to drizzle snd when I opened the door I found that my friend Larissa had stopped by and left some presents on my kitchen table. Homemade pickles, incense, a gorgeous feather, flowers and a tiny chantilly cake with a single yellow candle sunk into the center. She is wonderful. In the land of cakes - Chantilly is Queen. It is exactly what I would have picked for myself. Thinking it would be a cake-less birthday I had already made myself pancakes but there are no rules that say you can not begin and end your birthday with cake…

Day 325: Brown butter and banana pancakes with more bananas, blueberries, pecans and a little maple syrup.