Every-body’s gotta eat

Day 148: Make Me Happy, Salad! Mango, kimchi, blueberries, cucumber, sunflower sprouts, raw pumpkin and chia seeds, drizzled with coconut oil. It’s so colorful I’m happy just looking at it. Makes me want to dance! We’ve talked about how mangoes are great for your skin (thank you, mangoes) but did you know they are full of prebiotic dietary fiber? Serving them up with kimchi aka probiotics is a real two birds one stone scenario. See, the probiotics eat the prebiotics and you benefit from the carnage by 1. Having a delicious treat and 2. A healthy gut. Healthy gut = Happy mind! Sure, you basically threw those prebiotics to the wolves but.. every-body’s gotta eat! Don’t let it get to you.

I am wrapping up school right now, meeting with private clients (which I’ll have more information on soon) and trying to get The Herb Bar open again. The days are starting off with a bang and so does this track.. dance with me!

What is new and good? I

All of my work conference calls open with this question. What is new and good? Once everyone has shared we move on to our work agenda. It’s such a thoughtful way to get things started. It makes me feel seen beyond my role in the company and it gives everyone a moment to practice some gratitude and potentially shift their perspective if things have been ultra challenging. Which.. they have been. Any how, I’m putting it to you.. What is new and good? For me I loved seeing Muriel Bowser’s creative, non-violent and unavoidable response to what is going down in our country. Painting Black Lives Matter on the road leading to the White House is such a boss move. You can see it from space! I love this sort of ‘don’t get even, get odd’ move. She reclaimed that area with a paintbrush. As a person who is likely to lick something before calling it “mine” I am inspired by her maturity, bravery, artistic expression and class.

Day 147: Greek yogurt, fresh plums, pistachios, crunchy quinoa topped with a jasmine and blackberry jaggery syrup. Not familiar with jaggery? It is an unrefined sugar that is popular in south east Asia. Tastes like.. a spicy, unctuous molasses but not quite as sweet as maple syrup. It’s rich. You’ll like it. I promise. Since it is undefined it has more vitamins and minerals than the sugars we know and love here in the states. In Ayurveda, jaggery is used to help treat a wide range of health problems including, anxiety, migraines, digestion fatigue and even respiratory infections. It is sugar though. So it comes with all those health concerns as well. If you need to lay off sugar for any health concern, keep it moving.

B U S T E D

Man, these cops are going to have to eat crow! Everyone is watching now and it’s pretty clear who the thugs are. What a gross misuse of authority. It hurts to watch as they press their will into the streets but it has me feeling optimistic. Like the winds have finally changed and there will be room now to reimagine the ways in which our society operates. Thrilling! I believe that how you do one thing is how you do everything… and by that rational, if you can change one thing… you can change anything. Time to get to work.

Day 146: Summer hash + busted egg. Potatoes, zucchini, thyme and dill with sunflower sprouts, cheddar and black pepper.

Pico Party

Life isn’t very fun right now. There’s rioting in the streets. I’m buried in school work and work work. I feel ineffective in helping to create change with my attention dragged all over the place. Plus it’s getting hotter every day. Adding to the intensity of the times. While my appetite is still finding its way back to me through the stress I am managing to put something on the table every morning. Does anyone else just forget to eat when things get tense? I know some of you can smell what I’m stepping in. The proverbial (or literal) carrot on the stick is not getting me into the kitchen so easy these days. Pico though? It’s got my number.

Day 145: Crispy rice (still on that rice trip) with blueberry pico and half a mango.

Blueberry Pico:
2 medium tomatoes, diced
1/2 cup blueberries (or put as many as you like in there. You make the rules)
1 lime, juiced
Two scallions, sliced thin into coins
1 serrano
Cilantro and salt to taste (both are personal calls and I want you to be happy);

Comfort food

I used to tell people I needed three hugs a day to grow. Current times are proving that equation to be wrong. I can grow without them but the hugs would definitely help. Social distancing is wearing on me a bit. The news is making me hopeful but I wish I were with my tribe in times like these. When I am hungry I am reaching for comfort food. Rice is probably the least damning of my go to comfort foods. It always makes me feel.. settled. Centered, even. Unlike pizza or egg rolls which make me farty and lethargic. Le-fartic? Ugh, that was bad. See? I’ve been alone too long. Missing physical connection I find myself craving chocolate more often.. getting that sweetness however I can. I’m finding myself feeling a bit awkward and guarded when I am around people. Second guessing myself at times. Apologizing even. Who am I? Not wanting to come off appearing too enthused. Talking too much or clamming up. I miss dinner parties. I want to make a big pot of rice and fry an egg for everyone I know.

Day 144: Fried egg salad with coconut rice basil, scallions and fermented chili sauce. The egg was was perfectly crispy crunchy on the bottom. I sliced it into strips because.. pretty! And salad!

Hold Please

Spending my day on hold.. with the entire world. A work related customer support call dropped after 30 minutes. Fully exhausting my patience. I can’t get through to the mayor or the gang of real estate developers we call our city council. That’s why I’m smiling. Cheers. Call your city officials. Defund the police.

Day 143: Sautéed kale with a “kitchen sink” hash (potatoes, carrots, eggplant, scallions and mushrooms) and a soft boiled egg, tahini, seeds and garlic shoots to garnish.

APD

I live across the street from a police department. It’s their crime scene unit. I say “theirs” as though the people of Austin didn’t pay for it and the cops owned it independently of us. They have been sporadically blocking off the street to protect their little crime town. They sit in their squad cars and yell at people who approach the road block, trying to go home. Telling them they need to “Go around!!!” As if they could not have just put up a detour sign, saving their vocal chords. Sparing the nice people of my hood an unnecessary tongue lashing. Pointing would work too. Cops gotta flex, I guess. And that’s what I have been witnessing a lot of, flexing. Posturing. Low vibe shit. They line up city busses safely on the other side of the barriers. Load them up with cops covered in riot gear and head on down to the protests. Makes me want to go sunbathe in the parking lot blasting “don’t start no shit, there won’t be no shit”.. on repeat. But.. my pale gut is telling me to cool it. Those cops will be the untied shoelace of their own adventure. We’re all making calls, signing petitions and pushing to have them defunded. Cancel culture, alive and well. So yeah, times have been unsettling. I’ve missed a few posts and missed a few meals. I hate to admit it but I haven’t been eating much. My appetite is MIA. I’m doing my best.

Day 142: Cantaloupe, cucumber, cilantro, scallions and serranos with lime, coconut oil, fermented chili paste, fish sauce and sesame seeds. *breakfast from 6/1

Grief

These days I have to remind myself to breathe as I listen to the news and I can’t help but hear George Floyd’s voice saying that he can’t breathe. In my life I have spent a lot of energy struggling to understand things that I needed to just accept. Feel them.. accept them.. let them go.. I have lost a lot of time to my inability to do this. Eventually I come out on the other side realizing that I don’t need to understand something in order to accept that IT IS. The reality of the world at this moment is boiling over with things I don’t want to understand. Things I find to be completely unacceptable and their solutions do not require any amount of letting go that I could provide. My heart hurts. My head hurts. I don’t know how I can help. Signing petitions to make sure people are charged for a murder the world watched them participate in feels.. impotent. Ridiculous. Crazy making. How do the people in charge hold their positions when they seem lost on the concept of justice itself? I want to respond not react.. but I worry that beyond doing something outrageous no one will be heard. I worry that I don’t fully understand the people who need to hear our societies response. When I don’t know what moves to make I try to get still and allow the answer to present itself. Over the past few days I have taken some criticism over how I have behaved, expressed myself or not expressed myself in the aftermath of all this loss of life and wild injustice. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t cause me to retreat. I just can’t grieve and be socially/ politically correct I guess. And that I can accept and make improvements on. I am rambling.. I am trying my best.. I haven’t been eating well.. or much. Which I realize doesn’t help. This helps though. I’m taking some time to become better informed. To become a better ally. Join me.

Day 141: Deconstructed “egg salad”.. first off, I really hate egg salad and this redeemed nothing. I need to go to the store though and this was what I had lingering in the fridge. Toasted crumpet, yogurt and feta blended with basil, oregano and thyme, topped with a hard boiled egg and home made pickles.

Take me to the river…

Things are heavy. My guts said, ride your bike. Get outside. Find your balance. Then my bike broke. Again. I walked it to the shop and dropped it off. Then I ate and climbed into a friends car and headed out of town. We got a lot of sun. We swam under waterfalls and talked about the past and reapplied sunscreen and climbed fences. Trespassing in the name of social distancing and calmer waters. Driving back into town we were tired and unaware that just a mile or two up the road protesters had blocked off the interstate.

Day 140: Shaved zucchini, kimchi, tomatoes and bloobs with pepitas and coconut oil.

Airplane Mode

Feeling quiet.. feeling unsure. Taking the moment to listen and keep my mouth shut.

Day 139: Sautéed rainbow chard, with garlic, wax peppers and golden tomatoes. Greek yogurt, everything bagel seasoning and an egg fried in coconut oil.

Tonglen

Heading out into the world this morning, I felt.. heavy. Physically. Emotionally. Like overcooked oatmeal that you have to scrape out of the pot and thwack off of the soon. It was a tired kind of miserable that takes some elbow grease to scrub off of you… just when you’re out of elbow grease. I tried to stretch it out last night as I watched the thunder dance around in the windows. I told myself I would wake up and feel better, lighter. It didn’t happen though. My mood drew me back to the pages of Pema Chodron’s When Things Fall Apart. I think everyone would benefit from having a copy of this on their shelf. It’s full of gems like “we can make ourselves miserable or we can make ourselves strong. The effort is the same.” Fair. Ouch. I’ve leaned into this book a few times in my life while I swept up a sad mess. The biggest take away has always been Tonglen. This Tibetan Buddhist meditation practice dates back to the 11th Century when leprosy was running rampant and suffering was at all time high. Tonglen is contrived of two terms “tong” which means “letting go” and “len” which means accepting. Two things you could say I have struggled with. This is exactly the sort of thing that the smoking, spitting, riotous little punk rock girl that lives inside of me scoffs at. But she’s a young angry jerk and so I send a little tonglen to her too when I practice. The goal is to shift our attitude towards pain and to open up the heart. To become more loving and kind as we melt through the pain around us. The practice is focused on taking the pain of others and breathing it in fully. Allowing them to relax and find peace. It is designed to help awaken our compassion and use it to help and heal others. I highly recommend it and if you want to join me there is a guided meditation below.

Day 138: Marinated Salad: Kale, mint, cucumber, peach and blueberries marinated in a quick summery dressing. Garnished with sun flower sprouts. It works like ceviche. You that raw experience but the citrus and oils break down the greens a bit blend with the fruit making it delicious and easier to digest. Kale works well because it is so sturdy. This would not be something you want to do with spinach or arugula. It will faint, fold and wilt in this application. Cabbage, kale, Romaine hearts.. they can handle it.

Dressing:
1 lime juiced
1 Tbs coconut oil
Pinch of Himalayan sea salt
1/2 oz of kombucha (I added this just before I started eating it simply because it was in my hand and it was the last splash before I tossed the bottle in the recycle. 10 of 10 would splash again).

Toss the greens in the dressing and give them an aggressive squeeze to begin the “cooking” process. Then add all the other goods, give it a toss and let them settle in together. Let it chill for 20/30 minutes and then eat! Huzzah!

P.S. I am pretty into how intense my mask + adult blanket (Kaffiyah) combo is.. I’ve been dragging this kaffiyah around with me for 5 or 6 years now. It saves me from the arctic style air conditioning that Texas loves so much during the summer and makes me feel less socially anxious.. although I think this look might make others anxious. What can you do?

Are we not better than this?

I avoided the news yesterday. Reading about George Floyd today had me in tears before I had even brushed my teeth. I don’t understand this. I do understand this. Racism is everywhere. The only way to change bias is to change culture. We need contact. We need to connect with each other if we are to ever unlearn these implicit biases. To keep people from being killed violently, needlessly in the streets.. or their homes. I don’t know what kind of person could hold someone down until they cease to exist. I don’t know the kind of insecurity or fear that drives this. I am heartbroken for us. We don’t recognize each other as ourselves. It’s a culture of “Me” and not “We”. This continues to happen because we allow it to. The viral videos exist because someone watched it happen and did nothing. I’m not trying to shame anyone for documenting. It’s important. I just wander what it will take for us to do more. Are we not better than this? Don’t we want to be?

Day 137: I made this but I’m not hungry.. sautéed chard, purple cabbage, wax peppers, garlic and potatoes with a poached egg, flax seeds and feta.

The obstacle is the path…

Last night I set out for a late night bike ride to burn off the energies and clear my mind before bed. My bike choked up and I ended up kicking rocks and walking home in the dark. Dragging my bike with me like a cat on a leash. Wanting someone to know where I was (and desiring to complain about the injustice of it all) I called my best friend. She was awesome as always. She just listened to me conjure up new curse words for the situation until I got it out of my system without interjecting or offering a sunny spin on things… like I probably would have done. *shame* Once my pouty party was over we started talking about the day ahead. The things we needed to do, the things we wanted to do and ultimately the many things we were dreading and ways we could potentially avoid them. After throwing out some playful ways we could skirt responsibility and turn procrastination into a pro sport she said “yeah but the obstacle is the path. We know this.” And we laughed until we sighed. She is right. What stands in the way becomes the way. It doesn’t feel great but it’s comical... That thing you want is on the other side of that thing you don’t want. Leaving us to wonder ‘who put that there?!’ and reminding us that to truly have it ALL means you are probably not going to like it all.. but as my mother would say “It’s good for you!” In conclusion.. Tuesday is the new Monday. I hope you are feeling well rested from all that celebratory social distancing you did yesterday. That you’re rah-rah-ready to examine, devillainize and tackle the obstacles that lead your way. Success lies on the other side. Be it sobriety, a baller career, an ass you can bounce quarters off of or that dreamy partner in crime your heart has been searching for.

Day 136: Last nights soup… Round 2. Bone broth, carrots, potatoes, cabbage, mushrooms, mung beans and kale. Seasoned with Turmeric, cinnamon, garlic, fenugreek, salt, brown mustard seeds, coriander, cumin, ginger, cayenne, cardamom, black pepper and cloves. It’s soupier than it looks. I shredded some fresh greens and ladled the soup over it. Then I put more greens on top. Because? As above, so below. Plus bonus greens are good and it adds texture.

XO, Sugar

Last night a friend hit me up, looking for some advice on battling the sugar cravings that come with sobriety. I was touched that he wanted my advice and I was pretty proud to not be cuddling with a bag of cookies when his text rolled in. Which was a completely normal way for me to spend my time when I first quit drinking. I can’t honestly think of a drug I have never tried (most of them repeatedly) and sugar is by far the hardest one to quit. One it is very hard to avoid if you eat anything processed. Which most of us do. Two we grow up being taught that it is THE reward. Birthdays, good report cards and victorious soccer games come with sugar on top. It tastes like winning. When I got sober I stocked up on all the sweet treats. To reward myself and stay sane. My peanut butter cereal intake was shameful. If you dug through my purse at that time you would have been shocked by the wide variety of gummy candies I was able to get my hands on.. peach flavored penguins, cherry-esk Cadillacs, tiny coke bottles, chewy rats and tiny pineapple flavored fried eggs.. I was obsessed. On top of that I took myself out for ice cream, a lot. I day dreamed of a world where pie was made out of cookies, piled in soft serve and sprinkled with pop rocks. It gave me a tremendous amount of guilt and acne.. which I tried to cure with seemingly healthy smoothies from JuiceLand. It’s true, we replace the behavior. Sugar, sex, shopping.. it’s easy enough to do. Eventually, while shamelessly making out with an ice cream sandwich I realized I still had a problem. I didn’t go cold turkey. I knew sugar was screwing up my circadian rhythm and trashing my skin but it had a hold on me! I started by replacing the Noah’s Ark of gummies that my purse had become with tiny oranges and dried mango. I quit going out for ice cream (saving it only for first dates and special occasions) and opted for wickedly dark chocolate and a cup of licorice peppermint tea as my post dinner snack instead. It was sweet enough to kill the cravings and quickly became one of my favorite rituals that I still enjoy today. Then there was water. When I found myself wanting to concoct some hulkingly sweet diabetic nightmare I made myself drink water. I had to pee A LOT back then. I never did cut out sugar completely but I changed my relationship with it. The gummies are still MIA and in their place is a large variety of fruit that I dig into, guilt free. Turns out you can scratch the itch and nourish yourself too. And without further ado..

Day 135: Texas Peaches with yogurt, basil, mint, crunchy quinoa and blueberries. Eating seasonal fruit can help re-regulate our systems and taste buds to a natural and nourishing sugar experience. On this plate, bite by bite I am boosting my immune system, taking care of my skin and lowering my risk of cancer. The peaches, mint and yogurt aid in my digestion and make me less farty. If you’re wondering where the protein is look no further than the yogurt and quinoa. P.S. When eating peaches don’t forget to suck the pit 🖤

Stretching through the storm..

I skipped yoga this morning. I wanted to wait for the rain. My front door opens up to an empty yard. I can throw my mat down in the doorway and stretch out alone. Watch the world have it’s bath. Everyone can keep their yoga with a twist. Be it goat yoga or death metal yoga or my least favorite… beer yoga*. I’ll take mine straight up with a splash of rain when I can get it. Once upon a time I had decided to go to a “naked on top of a sky scraper” yoga class in manhattan but I stayed out all night drinking tequila and throwing darts with a bunch of Danes instead. I guess you could say I missed the elevator. I was so optimistic in my twenties. Part of me honestly believed I could do both things. Maybe that is what growing up is.. learning which limitations are worth pushing past and that whole filing taxes business. They say it will rain for days. I am going to leave my mat in front of the door in hopes that they’re right this time.

Day 134: Sautéed kale, peppers, tart apples and mushrooms with quinoa, avocado, tahini and herbed yogurt. Pomegranate and blackberry juice on the side. I snacked on the worlds most perfect mango while I prepped breakfast. Heaven.

*I don’t mean to trash talk anyone’s good time. Everyone should do what feels right for them. Personally I just feel that adding a pint to your yoga practice defeats the purpose.

Duets

The day began by juicing watermelon & mint. Summertime in a glass. Then there was dancing last nights dinner into a leaner, greener take on steak & eggs. Thinking it was going to rain all day (and since I already have a sunburn) the plan was to ride out the remainder in bed with a book. The rain never came but I chose to stay the course. High thread count sheets and The Hermetica hit the spot. A simple day of recharging in the land of classic duo’s.

Day 133: Left over steak, with kale, shiitake mushrooms, Hungarian wax peppers, fairytale eggplant and leeks cooked in coconut oil + fried egg on top and juice from the old kimchi jar. Watermelon and mint juice on the side.

What day is it?

I thought it was Saturday.. All damn day..

Let your friends make you breakfast and take you on a bike ride.. get too much sun.. because you need it anyway.

Day 132: Kory’s version of Charu// Forbidden rice soaked in tea (passion vine, sweet clover, vervain, fig leaf, Turks-cap, ligustrum berry and milky oat tops), butter, maple syrup, jaggery, peanut butter, cream, apple, mango, banana, blueberries and chia seeds. The tea really danced this around. I loved it.

Have a snack. Love what you do.

I get to work from home in my bikini.. taking juice breaks and eating dolled up toddler snacks. If heaven had a pregame routine this would be it. I get to talk to people about their health all day and find ways to support them in improving it… what blissed out existence is this?! If you want to make any changes to your lifestyle, livliness or hell, even your waistline hit me up. Consultations are free for a limited time.

Day 131: Toddler’s dream snack plate.. bananas, peanut butter with a lil honey, yogurt, coconut butter, bloobs chia seeds and cacao nibs. Green juice on the side. Cucumber, apple, kale and mint topped off with coconut water.

Look Mom! No hands!

Last night I was prowling around on my bike. Watching the moon come up. Racing the fire flies and sweating out the day. I’ve been feeling more confident on two wheels lately. Cruising the back streets I finally did it. I stretched out my arms and flew down the road, hands free! Queen of the world! I know this seems like something I might have mastered in childhood but truth is I have been heavily bike-afraid since I was 10. I had an accident that resulted in a month long hospital stay, major emergency surgery and 187 stitches on the right side of my head. Riding at all feels fairly heroic to my inner child. So a hands free cruise is kind of a huge deal. I was scared but it was great! …She said repeatedly throughout her life… I am totally going to do it again. I never thought that this is what crowding 40 would look like. That this is the kind of thing that’s got me still surprising myself. I’m not sure I ever imagined it all that well. I feel like my mind drew a long gray blank between 35 and 50. Some kind of dead zone. Like the actual place where the side walk ends or the closet door opens only to reveal a desert full of hungry two headed Saturnian sandworms.. you know, a decade (and change) long bummer. I’m grateful to be feeling well balanced and optimistic about whatever is ahead.

Day 130: Hot Salad for life! Six minute egg, kale, Hungarian wax peppers, crispy leeks, seared golden tomatoes, tahini, feta, dukkah and.. blueberries. I’ve decided that blueberries are a fine addition to anything at all. Full of antioxidants, vitamin C, K and Manganese plus they are about 85% water. They help repair your DNA that has been damaged by free radicals (a thing I feel has yet to earn its ultra fun title). Plus, studies show that blueberries can delay the aging of your brain. Keeping you sharp for whatever happens in the dead zone and beyond.

The Present Is A Gift

Today I said something that once upon a time made me cringe and shoot daggers out of my eyeballs. “The present is a gift!” Anytime this cliche has ever been uttered to me (AT me) I immediately thought “let’s hang on to the receipt.” But today it danced out of my own mouth with no negativity trailing behind it. Who am I?! Rather.. who have I been? A so fuhcking cranky and so purely angry human being. That’s who. Thinking back on how angry I’ve been for so much of my life I feel a few things. 1. What a waste of time.. 2 I feel like laughing. Because well, laughing is never a waste of time. Huzzah! 3. I have a lot of empathy for past Bonnie. I like to say she was provoked but more than that she was just scared and oh so very sad. 4. I am mildly concerned about the toll she may have taken on our liver. Between the drinking and the simmering rage it may have left a mark. In traditional Chinese medicine anger is the emotion associated with the liver. It makes sense. Your liver has over 500 functions. I, myself, have maybe 7 functions that I am aware of and I often feel vexed. I can’t imagine a to do list that’s 500 deep. It detoxifies our bodies around the clock. That is dirty work. It sorts out our cholesterol and keeps those troublesome hormones in check too. I imagine my liver to be the Marie Kondo of my body. She’s in there trying like hell to tidy up and for most of my life, instead of helping, I kept dragging things in that did not truly bring me joy. I was just like “Yo, Marie! Did you know wine comes in a box?!” My liver had every right to be pissed. In the present moment, in this total gift of time, I am eating a meal designed to help her function at her very best. It is bringing me joy.

Day 129: Quinoa, kale, chard, garlic shoots, sprouts, mushrooms, kimchi and grapes. I drizzled coconut oil and ume plum vinegar on top. Your liver likes sour stuff. It also likes green stuff, fresh stuff, fermented stuff and whole grains. If you feel angry or are easily agitated check in with your liver. Beyond changing what you eat, changing when and how you eat will make a big difference. Cut out snacks a few hours before you go to bed so your liver has less to clean up and repair while you sleep. And whatever you do… do not over eat. It causes stagnation. And if your liver is feeling stuck it’s likely you will feel stuck in your life too. Take it from one who knows.