Whoosh!

The days are passing quicker than the leaves fell. The sun ducks out earlier and earlier it seems.
Fine by me. I excel at the art of cozy. My robe collection is finally getting to stretch it’s legs. My ever growing tea collection has become more soothing than wine ever was. That was my drink of choice in the winter. All the wine. I think back to when I believed the myth that drinking warms you up and using it as an excuse to have an extra glass or to finish off the bottle. Those nights usually ended in fuzzy disjointed pieces. Me talking too much, not eating nearly enough.. only ever putting my foot in my mouth. Truth is, alcohol actually drops your body temp. The liver gives off heat while it is processing all those rounds - fooling us into thinking we are nice and toasty but nah, we just just get toasted. Pretty happy to be sticking with the tea. It honestly does turn up the heat. Today I am drinking a tea I picked up at the apothecary up the street from my house. It was designed for Sagittarius season, my season. It’s delicious. Dandelion root, Star anise, Cinnamon, Ginger, Clove, Ashwagandha & Kava kava.

Day 311: Quinoa, buckwheat, chard kimchi from F-stop farm + a 6 minute egg.

Eccentricities

I feel that in sobriety everyone comes to the fun realization that they are a bit eccentric. That’s probably one of my favorite things about the sober community. We are a surprising bunch. You never know what we will get into. As we regain our energy and find that we have more time on our hands we start to spend it in new surprising ways. I have friends who took up mambo lessons, opened a bike shop, or started making their own fireworks, guitars, guns, bread, caftans… Others who learned to speak mandarin, train dogs for a living, remodel homes, become MMA fighters, counselors and well, the list is just endless. I too have done a lot of things with all my new energy and time that surprised me. Things I maybe talked about but never followed through on. Some things that had never dawned on me before. I went back to school, I taught myself how to animate and then even took some classes on that front. I finished a series of paintings (depressive, still-life, shy nudes - I like to call them). I picked up my camera again and got to know my neighborhood really well and then… I started foraging. Weekly. Sometimes daily. If you would have told me I’d be nearly forty and roaming around my neighborhood with a big fat grin on my face shaking down and climbing up all my neighbors trees on the reg I would have felt very misunderstood but, you would have been right. This year I have come home with peaches, dandelion greens, blackberries, loquats, onions, pecans, grapefruits, limes, chives, mustang grapes and herbs that helped me survive the heat and any anxiety that was creeping around. Right now citrus is in season. These little satsuma oranges are sweet, easy to peel and to pilfer as it turns out. Before you wag your finger at me for thieving - I only forage things I see going to waste. A lot of people around here ignore their fruit trees. I’m simply filling the void and showing my gratitude for the abundance I live in. What grows in your neighborhood? What seemingly weird hobby have you picked up in sobriety?

Day 310: Sautéed kale, scallions, red potatoes, leftover steak, loads of garlic and serranos with pumpkin seeds, pecans and bloobs. I cooked it all with a little ghee and added some lemon at the end. The citrus helps you absorb all the iron in the greens and having been anemic back in my drinking days I do what I can to keep anemia at bay.

Give a little

If you’re out shopping or clicking through free shipping offers take a second this give a little to your local food bank or shelter. A lot of people go without during the holidays and this year has more of us down and out. I keep reading about how severe food scarcity has become during this pandemic and it’s just unreal. In a country where 40% of the food is wasted it’s heart breaking to read that our food banks are struggling to meet the needs of its community. Together we can do something about that. Check out FeedingAmerica.org to find a food bank in your area and give them whatever you can.

Day 309: Brown rice cakes with almond butter, bananas, bloobs, pumpkin seeds and cocao nibs.

I have had so much to say lately but not enough time or mental bandwidth to write. Lots of rough drafts sitting around. So stay tuned and don’t skip breakfast in the mean time. 🖤

Day 308: Sautéed kale, sweet potatoes, broccoli stalks, super grains - quinoa, buckwheat, millet, a 6 minute egg with a turmeric yogurt sauce.

Patience

There’s an old saying - when the pear is ripe it falls on its own. I have it posted on my fridge to remind me to stay patient and to get busy doing something else in the mean time. This advice has served me well over the past few years. So I don’t know who needs to hear it today but there it is. Trust that the day will come.

Day 307: Steel cut oats cooked in almond milk and ghee with a perfectly ripe pear, pistachios and coconut cream. Pears are in season right now. If you pick them up in the store and they’re still a bit hard or don’t smell very sweet just yet - throw them in a paper bag for a day or so, tap into that patience I was just talking about a soon enough they’ll be juicy and perfect. Pears are a good source of fiber, they make your gut healthy, can quickly cure a sugar craving and have anti inflammatory antioxidants. Delicious.

Tap Tap..

The temp is dropping and it has been quite the adjustment for me since I don’t even really own socks. So, I have been working out a little harder in the mornings to warm my body up. Get those internal fires going. I stretch, shake it out, let my body pop where it needs to (hips I’m looking at you) and then I jump around until I literally can’t jump anymore. Apologies to my downstairs neighbor.. but my circulatory system is digging it right now. Before I yoga I like to do some full body tapping. It is like giving my entire being a round of applause and it is better than coffee ever was. It is awesome for your lymphatic system (the thing that manages all the toxins floating around in our bodies) but I have made it part of my daily routine because it is fun and wakes me the hell up! Give it a shot and let me know what you think?

Day 306: Kale, sweet potato, green onion, garlic, avocado, fried egg.

TCB

Day 306: OG Grilled cheese.. it was perfect.

This time of year (while it is my favorite) is kinda cuckoo bananas. Nature seems to slow down but we humans ignore the memo. Speeding up for the holidays. Shopping, visiting, traveling, decorating.. more shopping. I’ve been busy getting the Herb Bar ready for the biggest shopping weekend of the year. I stayed up real late working on our website then I got up too early to keep at it But opted for second sleep about an hour later. Second sleep is that thing where you realize that you have more dreams to have, winks to grab and it’s still early enough in the morning to get back in bed and not screw up the entire day. That being said - I did sleep through breakfast! But hey, rest when you’re tired, right? Right. I got a grilled cheese on my way to work. Then I parked by the river and ate it in the car while it rained. Turns out you can find bliss anywhere.

If you are in the thick of holiday shopping I’ve been non stop adding things to the Herb Bar website. Tons of books and tarot, Oracle decks, herbs (of course) and lovely gifty things. Just a thought.

Day 305: Full fat yogurt, bananas, bloobs, pumpkin and sunflower seeds, Udo’s 3*6*9 oil, a little honey my friend Evie brought me from her bees and cinnamon.. mas cinnamon.

Grateful

Breakfast #304.. A smoothie before the feast. Banana, kale, blueberries, pecans from the yard, chia, tulsi, rhodiola, ashwagandha, wheatgrass and chaga.

This is the first time I have spent a holiday alone. The last few years I have driven out to see my family with a giant salad that my cousins can not help but raise an eyebrow at. We eat, play bingo, then there’s brownies my mom made and a wide variety of pie. After a lot of hugs I take the long way home. Pulling over here and there to take pictures of the country side. Somewhere between the CDC guidelines and having had a busy week I just decided to stay in this year. Cook for myself, do some writing, take a long bike ride, a long bath and just enjoy the day. To be as thankful for this day as I am for any other. I have hosted Thanksgiving dinner in the past and felt rushed, timers going off, things getting cold, stuff not turning out how I had hoped. Ya know, getting uptight about food, trying to accommodate and impress everyone with my ability to Martha Stewart the day - therefore totally missing the point of gathering in the first place. There was a lot of wine consumed in the making of those meals. Wine that would give me a headache, make me argumentative and render me resentful of all the dishes that piled up. If I could go back in time and tap myself on the shoulder here is what I would say…

Babe, (yes - in this scenario I call myself Babe) you don’t need to impress anybody. It’s just a turkey. It’s just a fucking pie. It’s just a day. Get together more often to celebrate how grateful you are for this life, the people in it with you and all you have been blessed with. You will feel less pressure to make it perfect. Knock it off with the wine and let people help you with the dishes. The world does not need a drunk martyr. Also, that butternut squash tart is dope. It deserves more than one appearance a year.

Today I am grateful for the perspective. I am grateful to have a quiet day in my neighborhood. It’s not a new tradition but maybe something that happens today will inspire one I can share with people in the years to come. Wherever you are today and whoever you are spending it with - I hope you are feeling at home. I hope you are feeling all the love, all the gratitude and… I hope someone brought a salad. *wink*

Day 303: Miso & Turmeric broth with garlic, kale, lions mane and chestnut mushrooms from HiFi Mycology and a little kimchi floater from F-Stop Farm.

Day 302: Brown rice, wonky egg, avocado, kimchi from F-Stop Farm and a splash of Brags amino acids. I’ll be sad when this batch of kimchi is gone. It is ultra good,

Day 301: Apples stewed in turmeric, ginger, dates and golden raisins with coconut cream over steal cut oats. Topped off with sunflower and pumpkin seeds.

500 Days of Sobriety

Day 300: Simplest breakfast yet. Uno banana and a glass of kombucha. Didn’t want to be late to the farmers market.

My sobriety journey has been going on since long before I realized it and I was never one to really keep track of the days… but I think it kept me going this time. A number as arbitrary as it is important. Like most things, it is both things. Like when you realize that perceived weakness of yours is a strength. So, 500 days, 12,000 hours, 720,000 minutes.. what have I learned? A little bit of everything, luckily. I learned a lot about the passing of time, perfectionism, codependency, healthy relating, resistant starch, vitamin and nutrient deficiencies, the thing we call god, the stars, my body, inherited trauma, the many ways I manage to get in my own way.. just to name a few. Turns out each of them is an obstacle or an opportunity to be taken or traversed. To lean in to or overcome. The hardest thing I have had to overcome in my recovery though has been the belief that I could THINK my way out of my feelings. Once drinking my feelings away was no longer an option my brain set out to manage things. It was an act of dissociation. A habit that kept the raw parts of me at a seemingly safe distance. I have complained in the past about others not taking my feelings seriously. Once I recognized that I, myself wanted little to nothing to do with them.. well that explained everything. If I didn’t want to deal with how I felt why would anyone else? I had to find a way to own and legit FEEL the things that I had been pushing down my whole life. So I did. Which has often been super uncomfortable and fucking frightening - to be frank. I begin by acknowledging the feelings as they came up in my mind. Which my brain is down for. Then I try to place where I feel it most in my body. My gut? My shoulders? In my chest? My face? Wherever it feels heaviest is where I place my hands. I keep them there for a while and try to name the feeling. Like maybe my shoulders feel hot and tight so I’ll give them a little rub and name it - Anger. Then I get to explore the feeling more. How intense is it? What triggered it? When have I felt this in the past? Placing my hands on the area really helps me feel it - rather than just simply analyzing it. Seems rudimentary but it has helped me warm up to the fact that feeling is okay.. and often pretty good. Can you relate to thinking your feelings? If so, how do you go about bridging the gap?

To celebrate my 500 days I am having neighbors over for dinner. Cabbage rolls, big salad and sparkling kefir for all the b vitamins, probiotics and CBD a girl could want. I went to the farmers market to pick up the kefir from Mircalo and I got to see one of my favorite farmers who makes the best kimchi and say hi to the zen-ass dude that runs the mushroom stand. I also took some time today for a little light gardening and harvested all the berries off of my Malabar spinach plant. They don’t taste great but they make an awesome natural and edible dye for anything from pasta and pastries to clothes. Not sure what I’ll be dying just yet but.. stay tuned!

Next Level

Day 299: sautéed Kale, scallions, garlic and cherry tomatoes from my mother’s garden with a 6 minute egg.

This weekend a Berkey moved into my life. It’s kind of a big deal! This thing is the Rolls-Royce of water filters. I have wanted one for a long time and now.. I want for nothing! If you are unfamiliar with the berkey water system - allow me to familiarize you. It removes lead, mercury, chlorine, pharmaceuticals, pesticides, heavy metals and fluoride.. ya know - so I can drink water that is simply water. It will purify 6,000 gallons of water before I need to replace the filter. So convenient! Christmas came early this year - Huzzah! I am stoked and very happily hydrated. It’s funny... I have officially gone from being a girl who once handed a glass of water back to a bartender (after he refused to give me another shot of tequila) and yelled “I said I was thirsty, not dirty” across the bar - to being a girl who’s big weekend event was setting up her new water filtration system. I was once The Worst. Now I am very well hydrated and able to laugh at myself. We really can change.

Day 298: A smoothie of a different color.. I was driving blind on this one a little bit. Everything went in, Kale, banana, sweet potato, peanut butter, bloobs, cashews, goji berries, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds tulsi, chaga, rhodiola, wheatgrass and ashwagandha and almond milk. The sweet potato made the texture a little weird but I’ll definitely give it another go. My with coconut milk next time.

“I forgive everybody.”

My friend Jamey said that to me a long time ago. He is wild and wise. The kind of guy who makes his own M-80s, taught himself how to play the stock market and is probably the most serious guitar player I’ve ever known - which is saying something. His words were on repeat in my mind today as I drove home from visiting my parents for the first time in nearly a year. We had lunch in a park. Distanced. It crossed my mind that if someone had captured a photo of the three of us - all sitting just far enough away from each other, masked in a clearing by the river.. it would have captured our true relationship a little too perfectly. It made me sad. It made me wish things were different. I am their only child and I often feel like Pluto. Way out there orbiting beyond the asteroid belt while everyone back on earth debates its status as this or that. This distance has gotten worse over time and it is largely my own fault. No one was pushing. I was just drifting. Searching. When I was drinking the distance was more behavioral and less physical. Putting on airs. Acting as if. Being highly defensive. Once I quit and was attempting to heal from everything I was drinking about in the first place I just kind of quit calling home unless I was guilted into it or it was dictated by a holiday. I have been focused on our differences and the inherited trauma that comes from having a family. Any family - I think. I have been wanting someone to answer for everything I’ve been wading through. I’ve been angry. On my drive home though I thought about how all my problems did not start with me.. Justifying the distance. But that also means my parents problems did not start with them either.. I could hear Jamey’s voice “I forgive everybody.” and I have to wonder - what if it really is that easy? I sure want it to be. I have changed my life in nearly every aspect over the past few years. Forgiving them and myself feels like the last piece of the puzzle.

Day 297: Brown rice cakes with avocado mashed with yogurt and nutritional yeast, slices of baked sweet potato, alfalfa sprouts and seedy mustard.

#WCW

Time for another shout out to women who have inspired me, supported me or both in sobriety. Last year I met a lot of awesome women at the monthly “bridge club” meetings set up by Tempest. This is a non 12 step community-led peer support group for women, LGBTQ+, and gender non-conforming folks who are sober or interested in sobriety. I started going to make some new friends. Sobriety has brought me a lot of amazing things but it also created some distance between me and some of my old friends. That has probably been the hardest part of sobriety in all honesty. Just this natural drifting that took place. So when the Tempest announced that they were doing monthly meet-ups I was beyond stoked. Month after month I met so many inspiring women who were open, present and motivated. The community kept me going. The woman who lead the group really stood out to me though. Sarah. She just has the best energy. It was always so calming to be around her. Thinking back to and missing those meetings I wanted to give her a little shout out. She teaches Kundalini yoga, breath work and meditation. I haven’t seen her since February when I walked into Sans Bar (Austin’s premier Alcohol Free Bar) and she was on stage teaching everyone how to do breath of fire. If there were an award for the most unexpected bar experience ever it would go to her. If you need a little grounding in your life she is still teaching in person and virtually. Her meditation practices are free - I encourage you to donate though. Bridge Club is currently on hiatus but as soon as it returns I will be there and promise to share info on how to find a group near you.

Day 296: Oat groats with coconut cream, a little chia seed pudding, bananas, blueberries and pecans. Last night I made my chia pudding with coconut water. I usually reach for whatever plant based milk I have around but last night the coconut water was waving to me. Delicious. Fiber, hydration, a fun textural component.. win win! To make your own put 3-4 table spoons of chia seeds in 1 cup of your liquid of choice, stir it around.. let it sit for 5 minutes and stir it again before putting it in the fridge. It will be ready in an hour but I like to do it before bed and let it sit over night. When you wake up - Huzzah! It’s ready to roll.

P.S. My allergies are killing me.. anybody? A-choo..

Tea & Tarot

I was drawing some cards for a client this morning and thought I would pull a few as a message for today’s post. The four of cups and the seven of pentacles popped out. The imagery of the four of cups in nearly every deck has always hit me as an attempt to tempt. Although I haven’t heard other readers way read it that way. It is an offering followed by rejection. The person in the image never accepts the cup. This card comes with a message of boredom, dissatisfaction and at times an unwillingness to see the opportunity in a situation. The seven of pentacles on the other hand, speaks to investment, persistence, patience and sustainability. Here together my intuition tells me that the message is to hold out for what is yours. If you have planted the seeds They will eventually bloom. It also tells me that if you need help don’t fail to notice when it is offered or be too proud to take it. That is something I know I could improve on. I always want to do everything myself. Requiring help has been known to freak me out. If you can relate - this message is for you.

I love the tarot. I picked it back up in sobriety. It has been such a great tool for getting back in touch with my intuition. I have a cup of tea and pull cards at least once a week for myself or friends and clients who want a little guidance or just an energy read. Today I am having my daily cup of adrenal support tea. It has been such a big help in managing the stress of this year and remaining patient with everything that has happened. Huge fan. I mail it to friends, gift it to clients and recommend it to customers at the herb bar any chance I get.

Day 295: Kale, garlic, serrano and potato hash with left over strip steak and an egg fried in ghee with some rad herby green sauce on top. Sort of a remix from last nights dinner.. I had an ex-coworker over. I cooked us a steak with a bunch of sautéed veg and a mini cheese board with apples, seedy mustard, herbed chèvre and a sharp aged cheddar. She brought me some honey from her bees (so very cool) and a selection of coconut milk ice creams from Thai fresh. Huzzah! I tried the honey lavender and the Thai basil.. I can not tell you which I liked better. Both were perfectly sweet, bright and gentle. Such a treat.

What is new & good?

In the past few weeks I have had quite a few friends reach out to me about wanting to change their relationship with alcohol or quit all together. I feel honored that they felt comfortable talking with me about it and pretty excited that so many are looking to make a change. That’s what is feeling new and good around here today. So I thought I would share a little piece of advice for anyone who has recently started down the path of sobriety. Take it slow. When we are newly sober life can feel even more overwhelming. We are a bit raw. Things feel uncertain and our confidence comes and goes. It makes sense that it would. I know that when I was drinking I mostly learned that I could not trust myself on so many levels. I was truly unreliable. I called it spontaneity but that was just a fun way to describe what was ultimately my epic self abandonment. Each time I called it quits I did not fully believe I would/could stick to it and actually get sober. I had betrayed myself too many times before. I talked a good game while waiting for myself to fall back. In an effort to combat this self doubt I would pick up loads of new healthy habits. Looking back I realize it was partly to keep me busy but a big part of me was thinking that this fierce influx of new shiny behaviors would make the transformation happen faster and maybe even absolve me from my past. I went from drinking away to literally running from my problems. Of course it was too much too fast every time and when I fell off my exercise routine or ate like crap or skipped my meditation practice I would deflate. With my confidence on the floor I would find myself at the bar again. I had not yet embraced “progress not perfection”. I was still in ALL or NONE territory. I did not realize that I didn’t need to be absolved. I needed patience. I needed to rebuild trust in myself and let new habits settle in. That takes time and luckily sobriety affords us a lot more of that. So if you are newly sober (or hey, maybe you just need a reminder) take it slow. Pick up those new healthy habits but don’t overwhelm yourself. Focus on one thing at a time, one day at a time and as life becomes more comfortable, build on it. Lasting change does not happen over night. I mean, imagine if you broke up with someone on Monday and they called you Friday telling you they changed and things would be different.. no one is buying that. Don’t be that ex for yourself. It’s not a race. You are on your own trip. Be patient. Try to enjoy the process (and the opportunity) of winning yourself - and your trust - back.

Day 294: Veggie Toast with Greek yogurt, avocado, smoked salon and everything bagel seasoning. Aces. Lots of Omega 3’s happening here. I do everything I can to get my omega 3’s in a wide variety and not rely on supplements. It’s pretty easy, totally delicious and come with so many benefits. They fight anxiety, depression and reduce mood swings. Omega 3’s also improve symptoms of ADHD, raise your good cholesterol (HDL), reduce inflammation (the root of all dis-ease and famous compadre of over imbibing). Not sold yet? Omega 3’s are great for your skin AND they can even alleviate menstrual pain. For real. In fact one study showed omega 3 supplements to be more effective than ibuprofen in treating severe cramps. I can personally say that since I started mindfully incorporating more of it into my diet my period pains have been much less lethal. Pretty thrilling stuff. Where to find it?

FISH - Salmon, Sardines, Mackerel, Sea bass, Oysters, Mussels, Anchovies (the bacon of the sea..).
SEA VEG - Nori, Chlorella, Spirulina
SEEDS - Pumpkin, Chai, Hemp, Flax
BEANS - Kidney beans, Navy beans, Northern beans
LEAFY GREENS & BRUSSELS SPROUTS
AVOCADO
EGGS
BLUEBERRIES

Please excuse Bonnie from…

I have had a few hectic days and while I did not post I did make time to nourish and fuel myself. If you are looking for a little breakfast inspo.. here ya go!

Day 293: Half a baked sweet potato with sautéed chard, broccoli, bell pepper and serranos with quinoa, tahini and pumpkin seeds. Could have been lunch or dinner or whenever. So damn good! Tahini is one of my all time favorite things. I make it with a little extra lemon with I plan to put it on greens because the citrus helps my body absorb the iron in the greens. Huzzah!

Day 292: Full fat yogurt and Purely Elizabeth granola topped off with bloobs, cocao nibs and extra hemp hearts… More hearts - please.

Day 291: Veggie Toast with pumpkin purée, Greek yogurt, smoked salmon, alfalfa sprouts and pumpkin seeds. It’s rare that eat bread but lately it has sounded appealing and then I found this Daily Kneads bread made with spinach and kale and it piqued my curiosity. Whole grains, b-vitamins, iron and a little protein.. It makes a pretty decent toast and it has 8 1/2 cups of veggies baked into each loaf. Sold! If you’re looking to sneak more veg into your diet this could be for you.

Day 290: brown rice cakes with peanut butter, yogurt, date syrup, bloobs and chia.

Simple

I have been hit with a flood of creativity and it has me plotting out a new program for my clients and setting up some new paintings. Fall usually gets me all creatively charged up. It is a wonderful feeling. Like flying a kite. Letting go of control and simply playing in the elements. So I’m going to keep it simple this week so as to not overwhelm myself.

Day 289: A gentle miso soup with Russian kale, mushrooms and carrots. Soup was my favorite thing to make at the rehab. It’s simple, hydrating and very nourishing - so long as it isn’t cheese based or loaded with unnecessary sugar and salt, I’m looking at you Campbell’s. When it’s done right it calms the mind, the nervous system and the gut. Everyone can benefit from that, whether they are in recovery or not. However at work it got bonus points in my book for making everyone in the dining room quiet. I don’t mean that in a selfish or bitchy way. It was just nice to feel everyone at peace - at the same time. Even if it was just for a moment.

The art of living.

The time change always messes me up. It knocks me off my routine. Before it hit I was struggling to go to bed at the right time, to wake up and get things going. Each day I tried like hell to reset but I was just out of step and I as I failed I gave myself a hard time about it. Which as we know is a tried and true way to improve any situation *she said sarcastically*. I started to look at my routine like an old pair of pants and accepted that maybe it just did not fit me anymore or at least not right now. I needed to let something new settle in that fit and felt good. I thought of something Alan Watts said..

“The art of living… is neither careless drifting on the one hand nor fearful clinging to the past on the other. It consists in being sensitive to each moment, in regarding it as utterly new and unique, in having the mind open and wholly receptive.”

I needed to stop pushing and pulling at the hours of my day. Attempting to control when and how it went down. Instead I laid out my priorities and let my schedule gradually shift on its own. The seasons have changed after all. It makes sense that I would too. I started making my gratitude lists at night before bed time (instead of when I woke up) and then wrote down all the things I wanted to accomplish the next day. This ability - a fluid type of discipline if you will - is something I could never manage before I got sober. Everything was either some kind of hellish chaos burning to simply get through the day or things were dangerously over managed. I was also very attached to the outcome of any given scenario. In other words I was super uptight and very easily disappointed. Which made me dislike myself… and that was mirrored back to me by the people around me. Trying to forcefully get back into my old routine was waking up these old habits. I had to remind myself to be sensitive to the moment. See it as new and unique. Be receptive. Remain open to something new. So if you are struggling right now, feeling out of step, not so productive or less than 100% effective.. give yourself a second, be receptive and find what works for you.

Day 288: Quinoa, stewed apples with turmeric, ginger, cinnamon and golden raisins with coconut cream, pecans, pumpkin seeds and chia. So damn good. I could have this every day and never get sick of it. Just like Alan Watts… I could never in a million years get sick of him. Even from the grave he always knows what’s up.

Apples and quinoa are both really great sources of fiber which - if you have recently quit drinking - is highly effective during the detox process and helps with digestive issues.

Let them eat Cakelettes

Would ya look at that.. it’s Monday again. I can hear the traffic picking up outside. Zoom zoom. I hope you are all feeling relaxed from the weekend. Sometimes Monday hits and I feel like I am already behind but that doesn’t help anyone. It leads to rushing and rushing lowers your vibe. Shrug it off as hippy nonsense if you like but you know it’s true. I am kicking off the week with a little something new to me - Cakelettes! It’s a pancake. It’s an omelette. It’s fantastic. Part of me wishes I had put that blueberry pomegranate compote I made recently on top but there will be a next time. Until then - try it for yourself!

2 Eggs
2 Tbs flour - your choice I used all purpose
1/2 tsp baking powder
a little bit of grated cheese (about the size of a babybel)
you could go Swiss or Parmesan. I used cheddar, nice and sharp.

Whisk together until it is lump free - that’s the way to be. Pour the mixture into a hot pan that has been buttered or gheed - just like you would an omelette or a pancake. It cooks super fast. Flip it, fold it, roll it - whatever feels good. Top it with sautéed veg and extra cheese or Crème fraîche or as I mentioned before compote/jam. Enjoy.

Day 287: Cakelette with cheddar and sautéed kale, bell peppers, garlic and serranos.

It’s stinky but I like it

Day 286: Quinoa with sea veg, kimchi, a perfect egg, bloobs and kiwi.

Kimchi used to be a part of my hangover cure and incorporating it into my diet was (unknowingly) one of the first steps I took on my path to sobriety. I had eaten it before here and there but never with any regularity or intention until I read that kimchi was the new Prozac. I was wicked depressed and eating fermented cabbage seemed worlds easier than making the big changes I really needed to. Duh. So, I started making a weekly kimchi stew. This stuff was my savior and a sign that somewhere deep down I still gave a shit about myself. Brothy.. spicy.. with little silken tofu and a whole lotta gojuchang and kimchi. It made me sweat which had to be a big part of what made me feel better as I had plenty of toxins to release. I usually made it on Sunday nights - when I felt like chewed gum - after a weekend of partying with all the hopes that it would dance my brain chemistry around and out of its depression or magically make my shitty choices somehow work for me. I did this week after month until one day I wondered… what if ALL the good in this food didn’t have to contest with the booze? I knew that alcohol is a depressant. I knew it was tanking mood AND creating an after shock of anxiety that lingered for days - and caused me to drink more. I realized that had been trying to have it both ways and as long as I kept that up anything I tried would be a bandaid. Luckily by the time I finally quit drinking I had already incorporated something into my diet that would be make a huge difference in my sobriety. Delicious, fermented, positively probiotic - kimchi. It provided me with a weekly ritual and it helped to rebuild my microbiome. That is where 90% of our bodies serotonin and 50% of dopamine are produced. With facts like that it is clear this is a huge priority. It could even make all the difference in ones ability to stay sober. It gets mega bonus points for the ability to combat some other health issues that can come from alcohol and substance abuse, such as:

Candida // Inflammation // Weight gain // Premature aging // High cholesterol
Higher risk of Osteoporosis

AND it has loads of potassium which I was talking about yesterday. Sold? You can make it yourself (it honestly isn’t that intimidating) or buy it at the farmers market or grocery store. I like the Mother in Laws Kimchi brand quite a bit and they have a vegan option. A++.

Let’s wrap this up with hunky Brad from Bon Appétit making a little kimchi in the test kitchen, shall we?

Huzzah!

Huzzah! My heart! We did it! Right after I read the news I heard some neighbors set off fireworks. I am hoping for more tonight✨ Yay for change! Yay for Kamala! History was made today! Feeling incredibly proud, grateful and truly optimistic. Kindness won.

I had just busted out this Asian pear (also known as the zodiac pear or papple - that’s fun) hen I heard the news this morning. It is perfect sweet on its own but.. I felt the need for something a little more decadent - in the name of celebration. Bored with maple syrup and feeling energized by the winds of change I wanted to play. The pantry is as good a place as any. I dug out some dates, goji berries, star anise and dried coconut,. I threw it in a pot with some ginger, pink sea salt and 2 table spoons of coconut sugar, added some water and boiled it down into a very rich and complex tasting syrup. I discarded everything but the dates and goji berries then blended- just to thicken it up. Really fun, totally delicious and nutritious. Dates are so rad. I once hated them but I’m not sure how. They are naturally very sweet, have tons of fiber, antioxidants AND potassium. Not so fun fact: Many of us in recovery have potassium deficiencies. The alcohol does not help but generally what we choose to eat when we are drinking makes it worse. Salt and caffeine play their part in potassium deficiency too. Symptoms include muscle cramps, fatigue, weakness, and constipation. While all that sounds mostly uncomfortable and inconvenient this particular deficiency is also a major cause of high blood pressure and heat disease. It is also important to note that low potassium levels can weaken your adrenal and liver function. That’s bad news bears! More on adrenal function later. For now kill two birds with one stone and add dates to your diet. Your sweet tooth and body will thank you.

Day 285: Oat groats cooked in almond milk with a little yogurt on top, Asian pear with date & ginger syrup.

Date & Ginger Syrup

1 thumb of ginger - sliced
2 dates - pitted
1/4 cup of dried coconut
1 Tbs of goji berries
2 Tbs coconut sugar
2 whole star anise *
pinch of sea salt
1 cup H20
* Star anise is also very good for digestive issues.

Traditional sample syrups are 1:1 sugar & water. This recipe is a compromise. I relied mostly on the sugars in the dates and dried coconut. This would be awesome in coffee, hot cocoa, on yogurt, “nice cream”, fresh fall fruit slices, a bagel with cream cheese… ooh, cream cheese.